What Is Great Leadership?

 Programs with great leadership don’t fall apart in their leaders absence, instead they continue to flourish. This is because a great leader trains competent leaders throughout their program as opposed to dependent followers. Sounds great right, but how do you do that?  Well, it starts with absolute authenticity.  Brene Brown says “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” So in other words It’s about having the confidence to care more about what you think of you, than what others think of you. Michael Jordan said “Authenticity is about being true to who you are, even when everyone around you wants you to be someone else.”  Too often the opinions of others carry so much weight in our minds that sometimes it’s hard to tell who we really are.   When an elephant is born into captivity the first thing they do is tie one side of a rope around a tree and the other side around the elephant’s foot.  When the elephant is young the rope is strong enough to keep them from getting away.  As they grow older they become strong enough to break free, but they don’t. Their mind has been conditioned to believe the rope can’t be broken, that trying to escape is a waste of time.  Peoples perception of us can often have the same effect. We become trapped, held down by the fear of being different, of not fitting in.  Winston Churchill said "Those destined for greatness must first walk alone through the desert."  See greatness doesn’t fit in, if everyone does it then it’s average not great.  The first step to becoming a great leader is breaking free from the ropes in your life that are holding you back.  The next step is opening your mind to endless possibilities.  As humans we often confuse what we think to be true with what we know to be true.     We form opinions based on information we’ve had in the past. Sometimes our opinions are correct and sometimes they are not. Once an opinion is formed, it is very hard for a person to see another view point.   We treat our opinions as though they are fact until proven wrong.  While arguing our viewpoint we tend to ignore key points that may change our minds if we truly listened. Think about your last argument…. When the other person was talking were you really listening?  I mean REALLY listening…  Were you trying to understand what they were saying and reflect on the information, or were you trying to think of ways that you could win the argument. Arguments aren’t about winning they are about learning.  Great leaders don’t shy away from their ideas being challenged they welcome it.  If you regularly attack your own ideas, you can prevent yourself from being wrong.  This is why great leaders seem to always have the right idea.  They simply push their ego to the side, their focus isn’t on not being wrong but instead on figuring out what is right.  The same can be said about what we believe is possible. Over the years we shape our beliefs of what is possible and simply never test the boundaries to see if we’re right. Where would we be today if Thomas Edison, or the Wright Brothers gave up when people said they were crazy.  Boundaries are there to be pushed.  Too often we set limits in our head of what’s possible and give up before we’ve reached our full potential.  A great leader sets standards for safely pushing boundaries. They simply choose to find out what’s possible, instead of limiting themselves to the constraints they’ve created in their mind.  The word leader implies you have a following.  It’s important to understand that becoming a great leader is a very lonely path to start. People hang on tightly to their own ideals, you have to succeed before they will listen.  People fear what is different, and reject what they don’t understand.  Just because they don’t understand doesn’t make it wrong. When you dare to challenge “normal” ways of thinking, to push boundaries, and explore what’s possible, you will do it alone.   The process of becoming great is lonely…. Everyone dreams of becoming great.  They want to be famous, they want everyone to know their name.  Hardly anyone is willing to do what it takes to get there.  In fact, a lot of people convince themselves it’s just bad luck, or that circumstances held them back. These are excuses….. excuses allow them to stay in their safe little box where they feel comfortable.  The process of becoming great is uncomfortable, growth is uncomfortable. I think Joshua Medcalf described the journey best when he said this “remember, first they will ignore you, then they will tell you you’re crazy, then they will tell you that you’re stupid, then they will try and sabotage you, and then finally they will tell everyone how they know you.”.   See everyone wants to be a part of the success story, but very few are willing to risk the embarrassment of failure.  Be willing to fail and willing to learn!  Great leaders don’t fear failure or embarrassment, they fear not reaching their full potential. Francis Chan said "Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at something that doesn't really matter".  By being authentic and keeping an open mind, you will become your best self.  However, great leaders not only get the most out of themselves but others as well.  Once you’ve mastered how to better yourself, you can teach others to do the same.  Ultimately it starts with connection.  Theodore Roosevelt once said“Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care”.  That phrase struck me as a young coach. I had all the volleyball knowledge in the world, but none of the wisdom I needed to teach it. You need to connect before you can try to correct. Nobody wants to hear how they should change from somebody they barely know.  So put the time in, get to know them, learn what makes them tick.  Be authentically vulnerable, if you trust them they are more likely to trust you. You can probably see what they need to change right away …. But if you wanna go the extra mile, take the time to figure out why they do it that way.  I’m willing to bet nobody has ever cared enough to do that for them. The reason being, most people are looking to change you for them.  They want to mold you to be a certain way so they can reach their own personal goals.  They don’t care why you do something that way, only that you fix it so that THEY can succeed. Great leaders aren’t out for themselves. Great leaders are truly there for YOU.  They truly care about YOU. They don’t wanna change you, they don’t have a mold for you to fit. They wanna help you evolve into the best YOU that you can be. So you wanna lead someone? Show them they matter, show them they’re not just another stepping stone. Correction is tricky, you can tell someone how to succeed all you want, but ultimately they have to make the change.  Ive found that people are far more likely to permanently solve a problem when they’re the ones who came up with the solution. So I choose to correct through curiosity.  I ask lots of questions with the intention of leading them to figuring out a solution.   Over time I found that they start asking themselves these questions when problems arise, and I’m no longer needed in many cases. If problem solving isn’t the problem, maybe it’s motivation.  Self accountability is tough, but it’s absolutely crucial to becoming self sufficient.  I can’t be behind you for the rest of your life cracking the whip every time you drop the ball.   Somewhere along the way you’ve gotta learn how to push yourself.    We’re motivated every day by what others think about us, so why is it so crazy to think you should be motivated by what you think about you. If you don’t like something change it, nobody needs a leader to grab their hand and drag them to do the things they need to do. However, they might need a leader to call them out when they aren’t doing it.   They might need a leader to remind them of what they want, what it takes to get there, and to hold them accountable for not doing it.  It could be as simple as regular messages asking if they did what they needed to.    A simple message checking in can make a difference, nobody wants to lie to someone they care about … so if they know your going to check if they did it, they’re more likely to do it. You can make a difference by forcing them to track their progress, nobody wants to share their progress reports and be the only one that didn’t do anything. Leadership at its core is about setting the right example and making a clear path ahead to success. It’s in the word (LEAD)ership this means you’re in the front. You can’t push from the front. All you can do is clear the path ahead.  It’s your job to guide, to be there to turn around and pick them up if they slip and fall along the way.  I could talk about leadership and the process of becoming great for days. There’s a million books written on the subject.  I’ve been studying it for multiple hours a day every day for over 3 years, and I still consider myself to be just beyond entry level on the topic.  My opinions are constantly evolving as more information is revealed.  Truthfully i don’t think I’ll ever stop learning new information on the subject, and I hope I don’t. That’s the last step, never stop learning.  Just because your leading others doesn’t mean you’re done growing or that you’ve reached the peak of your life. There’s always more to learn, and when the people you lead see you working on yourself, it makes them wanna do the same.  You’ve gotta lead by example.  You can expect those you lead to follow your example on all things.. so be careful what examples you set, because they’re always watching.